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2001-08-28 - 8:28 a.m. No such thing as a free lunch My technical lead owes me lunch. Twice. Once because I'm awesome and he was a putz. And once because he bet me that he wouldn't argue with me during a meeting - a bet he lost. Last Friday, he kept interrupting my software lead/partner and me while we were actually accomplishing work by sending us pointless, rambling emails. Not a good thing to do to Theo when she'd had her first caffeine in weeks and weeks, who kept sending pithy replies which can be summed up - 'Leave us alone you yuck-a-puck'. By lunchtime, it was time for paybacks. I trotted down the hall to Martin's office and announced So, where are you taking us for lunch? Martin: Huh, no. I'm not doing lunch. I'm working through today.Pause, parse, squawk. Hey, since when do I owe you lunch? Theo: Since you managed to 'not argue' with me during the last failure handling design review Delay of game while Martin argues that he didn't argue. My cohort, Lisa, watches us like we're a tennis match. Martin: Fine. We can go to lunch, but we're not talking about work. Twist my arm. And I have to finish this memo first. Martin never finishes what he's doing. At noon, I'm hungry, so we find Martin and frogmarch him to my Tahoe. Theo: Kimchee or chili? Which means - Korean Noodle or Hard Time Cafe? Since Martin has trouble translating that sentence, Lisa and I decide on kimchee. Ummmm. Kimchee, Man Do, rice bowl, yummmmmm. It takes forever to finish lunch because Martin decided to try eating noodle soup with chopsticks. This works only if you accept Oriental table manners. This is what I learned in the ramen noodle shops of Tokoyo: (1)Eat the stuff out of the soup with your chopsticks. (2) Slurping the noodles helps cools them, gets them into your mouth and is considered good manners. (3) Just pick up the bowl and drink the broth. (4) Don't pick through the stuff with your chopsticks trying to identify it - just eat it. [I had to explain scallion greens, dikon radish and seaweed before Martin would eat them.] Unfortunately, when you apply American table manners to oriental food, you end up with an incredibly long lunch and most of the broth still in the bowl. But the conversation was entertaining. Martin's always a lively companion and fun if you're not working together. We decide (almost) to drive to my house and play with the Janome because the concept of a sewing machine hooked to a computer is more than Martin-the-engineer can bear. Really, inquisitive engineers are a dangerous thing. I never wear my hair up to work. Hairsticks fascinate engineers and they just have to know how you managed that elaborate twisty thing with only one stick. I swear, I spent two hours one day showing the gentlemen I work with how to do a French twist because they were structurally fascinated and kept bringing their friends for a demo. Never again. Not unless I'm wearing the Vortigern crafted brass hairsticks that are very pointy and throw pretty well. (Yes, I have practiced throwing them before - you have been warned.) Anyway, recall if you will the purpose of this expedition was to make Martin buy us a well deserved lunch. Guess what? The Noodle doesn't take plastic and he's out of cash. So now Martin owes me three lunches. Still it wasn't a total loss. We drive back to work and as we're walking in from the parking lot Martin says: Oh, Baskin and Robbins. Ice cream would've been good - if I'd thought of it while we were still in the car. He shrugs and keeps walking toward his office. At least until I unearth my car keys, grab his arm and do a U-turn for the Tahoe. Out the GSFC front gate and across the street to B&R. Guess what? They take plastic. A scoop of Chocolate Oreo and a scoop of Cookies and Cream - Martin's treat. The three of us head back to work and sit at a picnic table eating ice cream in the warm Friday afternoon - after carefully forcing Martin to sit on the sunny side cause I am medium evil and he has thinning hair. I manage to argue Martin out of the nutty assignment he wants to give Lisa and life is good in the world. We almost decide to go to the movies - but Lisa's conscience prevails so we drag back to the office about 2:30 to finish the workday. Hmmmm. Ribs or sushi tomorrow? Judging by the minefield in our parking lot Cheryl the border collie is not frightening the geese. � � Scribble to Theo previous - next �