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House and a shelf

2006-10-25 - 8:31 a.m.

House and a shelf

Hark, for the triumph of Guido approaches - Pink flamingoes are in grave danger.

MIAMI -- Residents of Florida are mourning the death of one the state's most recognizable icons -- the plastic pink flamingo. It was 49.

The pop culture symbol was best known for showing up in people's yards all across the Sunshine State in the late 1950s just as Florida's tourism industry started to boom.

The demise of the flamingo comes after its maker, Union Products of Massachusetts, decided to end production in June, with the plant scheduled to shut its doors on Nov. 1.

The company says the plastic bird fell victim to soaring electricity prices and the increasing cost of materials.

However, not all hope is lost for flamingo lovers. Other companies have expressed interest in buying the molds in an attempt to save them from complete extinction.

(Copyright 2006 by MetroSource. All Rights Reserved.)

Iím out of pink flamingoes. My next-to-last set went to adorn the Trayned Bandes of London camp many years ago. (And I wouldíve gotten away with it too if it werenít for Gen and Grace! Everyone was ready to blame each other, or maybe Thjora. Do you know how hard it is to put a ruff on a pink flamingo?) My last set was donated to a colleague to support the cause of truth and justice Ė but thatís a story involving margaritas and naked pirate parties.

Guido, like Zorro, has faded into legend. Thought itís been many years since heís haunted Pennsic as the scourge of plastic and tacky, I am suddenly reminded of Christian Darmondy in a monkís habit (funny all on its own) in the year of the inquisition trial when Atlantia Royal gates were pipe structures about four stories tall and suitable for hanging war standards and people.

Now thatís a New Yearís Party theme in the making Ė summoned before the inquisition. Or, a fabulous Bob-day theme cause thatíd be funny - the dread pirate Robert try to sort out us sinners.

Who knew a medical drama could improve my life?

The weekend after Crusades I spent three hours hanging a shelf. Suspending a board between two shelf units, how hard can that be? Well, since you asked Ė first, you must find a drill. Then, you must discover the batteries are all still dead from Pennsic. Next, much cursing and you look for the charger for subject drill. Then, somewhere in the screws-and-bits drawers which masquerade as organized, you try to locate 2Ē-3Ē screws only to realize Roland has exiled common fasteners (screw) from the armor materials (rivets, washers).

(Lot of cussing as Roland is out of the house.)

So I hang the shelf. Triumphant music in my head I install the TV/DVD flatscreen (cheap at Costco!) in front of the exercise area Ė only to realize there isnít enough clearance to insert a DVD from the side.

(Charlie Brown ARGGGGHHH. This is why engineering reviews to consider all stages of a project including a-s-s-e-m-b-l-y. Smart enough am I to ask the question, but apparently too dumb to answer it.)

Sent back to go, I now have to move the support shelves (of course loaded to the gills) further apart, rip a new board and start over. The low point came when the screwdriver bit rolled under the heavily laden shelves, invisible to the naked eye, which necessitated pawing blindly through dust and cricket carcasses. Sigh. How do crickets just curl up and die like that? Is sudden heart attack a big cricket health threat?

Second try and three hours later Ė success! Entertainment installed near the treadmill/exercise area. Ironically, after all that, I have no desire whatsoever to actually work out. I go upstairs ready to relax and manage to jam the garbage disposal while arranging flowers.

(Charlie Brown AAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Theo sits on the couch and sulks for awhile which was probably safest as I canít break anything else from there.)

New day dawns peacefully. House Season 2 (also cheap at Costco) into the DVD player and 40 minutes whirl by without me noticing the workout. Now, Iím working out every day, just me and the crickets who keep the chirping to a suitable volume.

Wonder how long getting skinny takes?

Hope the hotel has a treadmill (Iíve got to go to Jersey tonight), but it wonít be the same without Hugh Laurie and the crickets.

Scribble to Theo

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