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Recent News... Just for Pope Gregory... |
2002-01-14 - 9:29 a.m. There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. I need to shop for condoms more often. You see, this weekend was all about wallowing. Relaxing. Doing nothing much productive. Mindless TV and trashy romance novels. The only drawback to these sorts of weekends is that I'm dangerously unoccupied - so I come up with the whackiest things to ask Roland. We're idly watching an Ally McBeal rerun and I ask is it moral for woman to use their looks to subtly manipulate a man in a professional situation? Is that worse than the typical guy bonding/manipulation over sports that leaves most women shut out? Both are ways of making a connection. And why not use the typical female attributes, if our society subconsciously accords men more authority/creditability because they're male? Poor boy was just trying to write .html in peace (Check out his 'by-your-command' diary template.) and suddenly his wife is on about the ethics of sexual politics.
But that was nothing compared to the questions romance novels inspire. I'm laying on the couch reading and I run across the characters having a discussion on condoms. Including options that I've never heard of. I feel so square, so behind, so uneducated � so I ask Roland What the hell is a pleasure nub? He jumps a foot, cause you know, he was again minding his own business when his wife randomly asks him something bizarre. What? � On a condom? Is that an option on condoms? � I have no idea. Like an SAT examiner, I read him the paragraph so he'll get the context. And why, I ask, Would this mythical couple pick condoms? Is there any guy that actually prefers using a condom? I thought guys hated condoms? It is just not logical. Roland feels a sudden thirst and leaves the room to get a soda. I yell after him, You know, Anne said "Roland's life must be a laugh a minute being married to you." Maybe I can get some short term mileage out of that excuse. I guess I'll just check the condom question next time I'm in the grocery store. I'm afraid to do an internet search on that topic. And, NO - no one needs to answer this in my guestbook. Friday was mostly spent cleaning the house and de-decking the halls. I'd love to have a flex day that didn't get filled with household chores. But, I was tired Thursday night and drinking at Last Chance sounded like so much more fun than scrubbing toilets. (Duh!) Roland stayed home cause he meant to do his share of the cleaning, but he had boxes and boxes of cable modem gear that distracted him. I had a long discussion with Laura about cooking and various other things. Hmmm - note to Laura. Check out the cookbook "The Cook and the Gardener." It's about a chef's year at a chateau, planning a constantly changinga seasonal menu depending on what the crusty old French gardener would allow her to harvest. Friday night was very low energy. I went by Gen's to borrow some of the Kevin Smith DVDs I gave her for her birthday (presents that benefit all!). We corrupted them into joining our quest for a real meal and went up to the Blue Ox Caf�. We were home and asleep before ten? Maybe a little after. Pitifully tired people. Saturday morning was the burst of productivity in the form of grocery shopping. I took the time this weekend to start the diet/fitness kick, which entails buying nutritous food. It's not really a new year resolution - just something I've really wanted to do and finally have some time to concentrate on changing those unhealthy habits. I turned 30 last year and you know my father's family has a huge history of adult onset diabetes releated to obesity. Yeah, I can find motivation in that. And you know what the hardest part of dieting is? � Shutting up about it. I hate having lunch with people who go on and on and on about their diets. I mean, I love mutual sympathy and support, but please, we don't have to constantly talk about it. On the flip side, if you don't advertise the fact you're dieting, people constantly try to press dessert and extra helpings on you. Watched Clerks - funny as hell. Sick, but funny. Designed a book cataloging database. [Alan: They make freeware for that � Oh, I know, but I had Access and a laptop and I was watching a movie and � You know, some people would just watch the movie. � But I was bored. Why do these conversations make Alan bury his face in his hands? It's okay says Gen As long as you know we're all just laughing at you.] Roland made me help him with armor patterning on Sunday. I think he was trying to occupy me before I could come up with anything else off the wall. I had the urge to go kite flying, but he was busy bending metal. He's working on a new gorget and it's hard to trace your own neck, so - heck, yeah, I'll volunteer for things involving putting my hands on Roland's body. Of course, I made him explain lots about the pattern and materials - cause I understand fiber *not* metal - which made the simple tracing chore stretch into an hour. I'm high maintenance in my own special way. A Sunday afternoon of almost napping and idly watching television. Bliss. Remember what Calvin & Hobbes always say: "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Gen and Alan talked us into Hard Time Caf� for dinner - another congenial evening - though we all looked a little smurfy sitting next to the blue neon beer sign. They're starting the 'Sell this house and buy a new one' phase which leads to the list of things to fix and the awkward quest for finding the new house - want to find *the* perfect place but not until they're ready to buy. At least they've found a realtor they really like which is a really big step. We rounded out dinner with Scotch and ice cream around our kitchen table. Speaking of home ownership - where, oh, where, has our Mel gone? Trapped in the evils of shiftwork still? I haven't talked to her in over a week except for a brief pass at 12th Night. After dinner, I got drawn into the World Pastry competition on the Food network. Ironic for someone that was just babbling on about a diet, but this stuff was unreal. Teams had prepared for months if not years. Four foot tall sculptures of chocolate and spun sugar. Huge ice sculptures. 4" thick cakes with six or more layers. Chefs working hot sugar like a glassblower. Someone made a gymnast out of sugar - 3-D, all the muscle groups. Wow. I was completely intimidated. This competition was a serious chef toyland and a skill level way beyond me. The part that really got Roland was the Wagner power sprayer being used to coat sculptures with chocolate - just to give it that perfect texture. How do you clean that? Maybe Kevin and I should go kitchen gadget shopping in Home Depot. I do need a blowtorch for carmelizing sugar. � � � 
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