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Recent News... Just for Pope Gregory... |
2003-04-29 - 8:47 a.m. 150 engineers and 920 square feet of canvas Here's one thing I really love about the SCA - the awards. Not for the cookie, or the rank, or the titles, or the long court. I like them because it gives us a finite way to say thank you to those splendid people around us. The modern world affords us little opportunity to praise others (though criticism comes often and easily). It's not a perfect system, but good comes of it, even if all it accomplishes is to make us pause and appreciate those around us. In the spirit of reflection, let me tell you why I love Alan. Really, there's lots of reasons. He's warm. He's good to cry on. He's sarcastic as hell, a hard worker and good schlepper. We'll never leave him in charge of food, but his taste in whisky is superb. Entertaining conversationalist and underwater farmer. And, you know, he even has nice pecs. I know � Jen and I duct taped him once. He's funny when he tries to be stern, and he sports a shade of red hair I'm very fond of. But most of all, this week I love Alan cause he doesn't do math. Let me tell you about tents and engineers. Last week was my old division�s �Going Out of Business� party. We�ve been reorganized in a way that seems pointless but mostly harmless � still, during the group photo instead of �Cheese�, the one group dressed in black (a long and different story) led us in chanting �We were fine the way we were.� This subsequently caused another subgroup to burst into the first verse of �The Way we Were.� Nobody could remember a second verse, but that was really all for the best. These things don�t seem to happen at Roland�s work. My contribution was arranging tents for the 150+ person picnic held on the lawn outside our building. Thanks to the very generous Kevin loaning his 16�x20� and Mary-Grace and Havorc loaning their 20�x30�. Planning meeting: You can get tents that big? At this point, the technicians volunteer to crew the tents, cause they could apply common sense and listen to direction.
It's educational to realize none of your colleagues understand you are a hick. Sure, you can drive a Tahoe, but four wheel one over the sidewalk and climb around on top unloading poles and they will stare. Can you park on the sidewalk like that? they say, looking at my truck sitting on the concrete pathway, convenient to the lawn. I am always startled by people asking the obvious, so I look at them strangely: What are they going to do? Take away my birthday? They puzzle this over, while Karen and I rip down the orange mesh fence preventing entry into the grass. The irreverent violence makes them shift uncomfortably. One of my managers nobly helps me lay everything out, because it�s easier to stop people from mixing up the gear with only one helper. She didn�t want to attend the stupid staff meeting anyway. I'm so used to the SCA, where we deal with tents and camping technology constantly. The discussion phenomenon caught me off guard. Take an average ten people who haven�t seen a tent since Scouts, two decades ago. Put them around a huge square of canvas and, they spontaneously being reasoning out how to erect the tent - as if they are in their backyard putting up Uncle Tim�s tent that hasn�t seen the light of day in fifteen years. The idea there are people in the world, outside of the army, who just know how to pitch tents is quite foreign to them. Shouldn't we ...? Well, I've been doing this for 13 years, but if you think you can improve� The techs reminded everyone we were following my directions. Engineers success is always built by good technicians. So I explain how to put up the 20'x30', which requires corners then center. Let's just get started and we'll figure it out as we go. Sigh. No, really, the corners then ridge alley-oop must be executed in quick succession in this freshening wind � so I need to explain it all first. On the bright side, pole and stake placement makes great sense to engineers. Relative to the pole, rope makes line congruent with each wall, 90 degrees to the pole. Stake goes in the ground at a 45 degree angle to the ground � no, no - tilted *away* from the pole, so the attached rope is 45 degrees in the opposite direction and pulling the top of the pole outward� Only once, did I here the propulsion technicians say Does a phrase involving monkey and football come to mind here? (Pause for Kenney to laugh.) I'm not sure I'll ever arrange tents to work again. It wasn't the gathering equipment or hauling or even the pitching - it was the subsequent engineering doubt.
There's no way those things will stand in this wind, declared fifteen of my coworkers in quick succession. Trust me, that repeated conversation will make you put an 18" stake through someone's heart. Only Martin believed me without question. And I offered bets, but no one took them. I thought longingly of Alan, cause I love Alan cause he doesn't do math. He just does. Getting them down was quite easy, because destruction always is. Displacing the tables, chairs, poker match, the drinking games and the matching horse trough full of beer took some effort, but they were eventually shooed out into the sun. From the closer proximity to the sidewalk, they found it easier to trap passersby into joining a game of quarters so raucous, you could hear it inside the building. You know it's a party when your directorate management (five levels up my org chart?) drops his briefcase and joins the quarters line-up, regardless of tie and tailored jacket. Dedicated partiers my coworkers. They didn't even flinch as the 20'x30' came down behind them. My former division management helped me disassemble, marveling at the pack down efficiency born of long practice. Though they did turn a little white when I casually kicked out all the perimeter poles that had been supporting over a hundred pounds of canvas. If only I could always contribute so much to my organization with the use of sledgehammers and rope. � � � 
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