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Recent News... Just for Pope Gregory... |
2005-01-30 - 12:34 p.m. Lasers and wildebeests I never thought I�d hear the word veldt used correctly in a professional conversation. Experience is, and always has been, the best teacher. In that spirit, let me share something I learned this week at work. If you are ever in a situation where someone is lecturing on the anatomy of the wildebeest never � and I mean never under any circumstances � give them a laser pointer. Picture Jimmy (Giacomo) doing an caricature of a good ole boy, redneck hunter, and I mean really hamming it up. Now imagine Bob (Beddingfield, Robert) doing an imitation of Jimmy doing a caricature of a GOB, but throwing in smartass remarks. You now have a visualization of my colleague, whom we�ll call GOB. Or you don�t cause you have no idea who the hell Jimmy and Bob are, but play along anyway. GOB took about a dozen of my teammates and their significant others to a game preserve in South Africa where they spent two weeks stalking game with cameras, guns and bows. Just a bunch of work colleagues taking a joint vacation. Honestly, I�ve always wanted to go on safari in Africa, so I envy them. And I understand why they took hundreds of pictures because the veldt is beautiful. What was surreal is they treated us to a vacation slide show as part of the weekly staff meeting. Scorpions, gnus, elands, crickets as big as squirrels, and thirty minutes of my life I will never get back. Because pain shared is pain halved, I will eludicate that the both sexes of wildebeest have horns, so, if you are practicing responsible game preserve management and shooting only the males to maintain that healthy one male to two female ratio excellent for herd stability, you must examine the areas down below to determine which sex is currently in your sights. If you explain this to a room full of technical personnel, most of whom did not grow up around livestock, they need visual aid to understand how to distinguish boy from girl. � many pictures �. Among the eland, horns are displayed only by the males. However, there are several types of males, bulls, rams, � � and a laser pointer Let�s move back to more esoteric ground. For the few who care and haven�t already googled or read the guestbook, Who is John Galt? is a quote from Ayn Rand�s Atlas Shrugged. Yes, I admit, the pinnacle speech of the book is 90 pages long, and perhaps could�ve used a good editing as it gets a bit circular. However, I refer you to the works of J.R.R. Tolkein, which, for all their wonder, suffer similarly from an overabundance of purple prose. I�m not just talking about Tom Bombadil, cause if you are amongst the few who like that bit, you�ve got to admit The Simirallion needed condensing. John Galt's speech is altogether better as, well, a speech, so if you haven�t already read Atlas Shrugged, I highly recommend audiobooks for the same reason I think Shakespeare should be performed not read. Right, bookgirl? � � � 
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