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2003-01-06 - 3:56 p.m.

Cause I�m a damn sight more useful

Ages and ages since I�ve updated.

I was going to tell you about the socks on my bedroom floor.

And how you prove there�s flour in brownies.
And about how Ann is like my orthapedic surgeon.

And about the holidays � which were quite a roller coaster. Next year, I�m organizing a Christmas pageant. If I�m going to spend my holiday dealing with childish people, drama and jackasses, might as well add the positive stuff like music, cute angels with tinsel halos, a manager and a star.

I was even going to post the results of the first online quiz I�ve taken in months. [I�m �Destruction� the renegade Endless. Raise your hand if you�re shocked.]

But.


I have good news. Excellent news. News that makes me glad I came to work despite the icky snowy drive, despite the fact it�s a Monday, despite throwing up this morning (an amusing story about how I discovered my body doesn�t like generic multivitamins � talk about expensive tastes�)

I got a promotion.

And they forgot to tell me.

Today, I�m meeting with my acting associate division chief when he refers to my promotion as something already done. And I stare at him. He stares at me. I stare at him.

Um, didn�t John tell you? He thought my acting branch chief told me: Meanwhile, my acting branch chief thought my acting division chief told me.
[If I lent them a copy of O. Henry�s short stories, do you think they�d get it?]

They�re not even sure when it�s effective, so I will, as I have always done, go ask our comptroller, Marg, who will know.

Ah, Marg. See, we�ve reorganized several times. The first time it�s scary to have the environment change around you. You were warm, happy, cocooned. You knew everyone. The first time, about twenty of my colleagues wore black to work for a week. They, eventually, got over that, which is just as well since they didn�t have AoD�s panache.

Now that we are battle scared veterans facing reorg #3 in five years, all we care about is that Marg will be the comptroller no matter what we call the division.

Anyway, back to all about me.

This is the big promotion, the one I am, judging by the past organizational behavior, not supposed to get for another five years minimum, ten years on average. [�They like me. They really like me!�]

And I�m entitled to a bigger office. Not that I�ll get one, cause we don�t have the space, but it�s nice to be entitled. And a raise was a non-sucky Monday surprise.

Woot!

That was strangely, atypically easy.


Let me tell you how I typically have gotten promotions.

Last promotion went like this:

I swear, I tried to be professional. I sat down with the assistant boss who was doing my performance review and discussed how I wanted to be considered for promotion, what steps I should take, etc. I waited months. I had a follow up meeting with him. And I waited more months.

Then, after the most disastrous review of my career, the one where I looked dumb because my project leads changed the requirements fifteen minutes in, the one where my independent review team actually started pounding on the table and yelling at my project leads, I stopped talking to useless assistant. I went straight to my boss.

So I�m working two lead positions and the management still owes me that three figure bottle of scotch for doing something NO ONE should have to handle. And my project is run by unreasonable space aliens. And I have to study for qualifiers and finish grad school and, you know what, I just don�t need to work this hard for this little. If I don�t have a promotion by summer, my resume will be on the street. Are we clear on this?

Crystal says my boss. That boss was a great guy. Turns out useless flunky had never told him anything about my pursuit of promotion. So much for appropriate professional behavior.

When it came through, the useless boss came smarming into my office to congratulate me and was floored I already knew. But we never tell anyone! We always surprise people!
They tell you when you threaten to quit.
You didn�t!
Is he kidding?

Ah, well. That was the same useless associate boss who once told I couldn�t hang my whiteboard but had to per union rule xyz submit a work order and wait six weeks.
He was dumb enough to tell me this while I was holding a drill.

I no longer work with useless boss.

The promotion before that was even better:

It was before reorg#1 and I wanted them to put me up for a simple time-in-grade promotion before we reorganized and raises stopped for a year while the new management discussed philosophy.

Again, I swear, I tried to be professional. My boss was in my office and I took the chance to ask him about being considered for promotion before the reorg. Considered. See how non aggressive that was? How professional? I asked for advice, offered to assemble recommendations and a resume.

He leaned against my file cabinet, crossed his arms in a condemning posture and stared at me patronizingly. Tell me why do you think you deserve this promotion?

Why? Because everyone I work with � including you, you big moron � tells me I�m handling duties two levels above my current job description. Okay, wait, can�t say that. Must be professional. Oh, hell, he�s ticked me off and he�s Irish enough to take it.

Because I said icily I�m a damned sight more useful than the overpaid supervisors who stand in my office and lean against my file cabinet and take up space.

He jumped a foot. Um he mutters Marg already put you in for your promotion three weeks ago.

Arggghhh. Turns out he just wanted to see if I�d stand up for myself. Head games. Evil head games.

See why I love Marg?

Hope you find your Marg.

Scribble to Theo

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