powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Recent News... Just for Pope Gregory... |
2002-02-26 - 10:29 p.m. Lucy, put the football back. Stand back, children, cause it's time for Theo to rant. I'm on three projects. Went from having nothing in particular to do, to having way too much to do. The players:
Monday Project N: We're reviewing our partner's concept for component I'm the technical lead/liason for on Monday. No problem. I take home the document titled 'Concept' on Friday, read it over the weekend. Wrong report. Waste of my weekend. Monday morning, I get a call from someone going on about a document I've never seen. You mean they didn't put you on the distribution list for this report? [No, they didn't, cause why should they give me a copy of the concept report for the component I'm supposed to be lead for that we have to review today?] So I get a forwarded copy. 96 pages and 3 hours to read it and provide in depth comments. Argh. I get about halfway through, make it to the meeting and I'm introduced as 'person in charge' in a room full of people I've never met. I leave that meeting with 'Everyone email Theo. Theo, please distill everyone's concerns into a list and email to our partners immeadiately. But remember it's international - so pay attention to export and security requirements - and remember, they're our partners so we can't direct their work.' [Huh? I'm not briefed on either of those things. Oh we'll forward you a briefing - which they never did.] In the post meeting swirl, I try to get more information, but that's a loss since one of the people is busy frantically telling me I'm now in charge of three telecons a week. He's dumps the telecon center number and access code and demands I notify/remind everyone. [Never mind I don't know who everyone is. Never mind there's no centeral phone list. Never mind the org chart is wrong cause they keep telling me 'oh, that's listed as vacant? Well, so and so's doing it. Never mind I have no idea who should be involved. Never mind I've never set up the telecon interface before.] ARgh. I stay around for a second telecon on Monday - which never happens because they told everyone at NASA but forgot to tell our partners which is a problem since the entire purpose is to talk with their management. Tuesday Today - I have an offsite meeting most of the day for Project G. Which will take way more than 20% of my time in the short term because I have to support a variety of kick-off meetings and technical interchanges and reviews. But I have to write up that stuff for Project N. I do my best to distill my notes from the Monday meeting and the two emails I actually got from the participants. [Like I can do this without help cause I'm not an optics expert and the optics expert was an unnamed woman who came late and left early and is listed as 'Vacant' in the org chart.] So, I err on the side of caution and send my 'draft email' through two more experienced Project N personnel for review since I don't understand the political situation/reporting chain [and they didn't send me the briefing] Then I meet the carpool for our offsite Project G meeting. [Oh, we told you Building 6 parking lot? We *meant* the loading dock. Sigh. At least it's a nice day to walk circles around the building.] The Project G lead, in a fit of avoiding traffic, schedules the meeting for 10:30 - 1 pm, which runs long, because suddenly three unarticulated requirements come up in my discipline because the scientist didn't understand despite numerous conversations. Grrr. Which means I look foolish. Grrrrr. And means no lunch until 2 pm. Grrrrrrrr. And then, cause my lead wants to avoid the traffic, no option for a sit down lunch - oh, no. Nasty B.K. drive-thru which is bad for my diet and digestion. ARGh. I get back and there are 5 whiny phonemail messages about the Project N inputs. [You didn't give me enough time to provide input. This is 96 pages and you want input today? Your draft email goes past what we're contractually allowed - haven't you read the Level 3 requirements? ] Phonemail 5 is from my Project N manager which says I *shouldn't* send the email because he wants to be the one to introduce me to the international partners as their liason. [So you gave me an action item and I wrote an email including a brief intro of myself and the information you required me to compile at the Monday meeting and that's somehow *wrong*?] And because it's not politically correct. But I don't persue that because message#6 is that I'm due in a mangement briefing on Project S which started 5 minutes ago. ARGH. Briefing brings up management issues which leads to being goobed in a long hallway conversation about cross-project commonality. And, because working four projects in a day isn't enough, can I clear up a issue on my old evil project for them? [Cause I love to go back and talk about my 3 year of hell project. NOT!] I still have to get this Project N email out somehow (even though I've been forbidden to speak to them) because I've been instructed to coordinate the afternoon telecon tomorrow. Not even I can handle this much irony in a day. I finally get some of the Project N technical people on the phone. We're thinking we're asking too much of you the first week. YOU THINK?!?! Listen to whine about I need to read the Level 3 requirements. Maintain patience. Out with the Hitler. I'm still working on getting password access to the project archive. I sent you he says very snottily the document as an email attachement. Breathe in the Ghandi. You sent me 30 documents. Can you give me the specific name of the electronic file? No, he can't. But (snide little bastard says) I should find a hardcopy in that three inch stack he dumped on me. Out with the Hitler. I look through the stack. There's nothing that says Level III. Oh, well, that's not in the title. In with the Ghandi, in with the Ghandi. Jesus, I'm going to fuckin' hyperventilate with the Ghandi. So that's why I couldn't find the level 3 requirements document? Because it doesn't actually have the words level 3 in the title? Well, when you go to the project office, you'll see a big poster/tree of the documents and it's the third level down so that's why we call it level 3, but it's silly to actually put that in the title. [I started MONDAY. I don't know where the project office IS!!!] So just because the Level 1 and 2 requirements documents are titled 'Level 1' and 'Level 2', I should've realized we didn't put Level 3 in the title? Project S people walks in to have one of those 'silent' management conversations with me while I'm on the phone with Project N person patronizing me for complaining about this. ARGH!!!!!! So I've found a document to read, but I still haven't sent out this required Project N summary email. No, my technical counterparts don't get in until 9 am and I have a Project S meeting from 9 am to 11 am, so I can't meet with them to understand their concerns to rewrite the email I'm not allowed to send because I have the temerity to introduce myself. Fuck it. Just fuck it. Our partners won't get their concerns list of the telecon number for the meeting tomorrow. My Project N manager calls me back. So I got your phonemail. How's it going now? May I just say, "Lucy, put the football back!" Silence. Long, long pause. So you feel you've landed flat on your back? You might say that. So rather than working with me to bring me up to speed or give me proper contact information and archive access, my manager decide to take half and hour and compile the email himself, cause, even if I could get out of the 9 am Project S meeting, we have a 9 am Project N all hands meeting. [Oh? I didnt' tell you about our all hands meeting?] I hung up, grabbed my bag, got in the car and started screaming. I get home and corner Roland in the kitchen where he's eating a chocolate pop. I rant the entire story at him. He looks more and more frightened and finally offers Um, I have a popsicle? I scream at the top of my lungs. Roland freezes like a stunned deer, blinks and says Oww. I think I'm going to do it again, I warn. Roland puts his fingers in his ears and says Yell away. ARGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! He cautiously removes his fingers. Done yet? And then, even though I want to scream again, he's made me laugh so hard I have to really concentrate to scream. ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! Woo-hoo! says Roland. Now the kiss and comfort stage. I like this part. God, I love my husband. So I want to go to practice with you, but I'm all tense and wound, but random violence would be good .... but if you'll give my five minutes to finish two shots of whisky and change clothes.... Roland gets that 'hmmmm' look and says very sweetly I'll wait. Now, I'm sitting in the floor at fighter practice ranting away and waiting for blood letting to end and dinner and an infusion of sugar, alcoholic or chocolate I really don't care at this point. [No Laura. Sniff.]
Needless to say, Charley Brown here will be having a moment of Scottish ire with my management tomorrow morning. My co-workers don't call me 'unambiguous' for nothing.
[Yay! Laura and Tonton just walked in.] [And they've took me to a place where I can have creamy sugar milkshake flavored with bananas and alcohol. And all was *much* better.] [And Alan's phone message promises me dinner tomorrow will be Outback takeaway delivered by the Lan.] � � � 
|